Greetings and most welcome to our extensive archive of dating, love, romance, and relationship related humor. Our only goal here is to put a smile on your face and perhaps make your day a little better. We can always use a little more humor in this world of ours. You'll find jokes of all sizes and calibers, as well as parodies and graphics that are sure to get you laughing!
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Love Related Jokes and Relationship Humor Archive
Welcome, to our quickly growing sex for dummies online archive of various
jokes, parody articles and humor about the singles life, married couples, dating on the Internet and
relationships in general.
For entertainment
purposes only and should only be used for research purposes ae we are constantly editing with the
changing times. We never use pop up ads
or sneaky gimmicks, and you're totally anonymous to us!
Our Adult Humor pages contain content that is not suitable for younger
children. You
must 18 years of age or older to continue, and we appreciate your cooperation.
With hopes of putting a grin on your face, we wish you a most wonderful experience!
humor jokes home
Humorous anctedotes to take the edge of our stressful
lives!
A man was walking one day, when he came to this big
house in a nice neighborhood. Suddenly he realized there was a couple making love out on the lawn.
Then he noticed
another couple over behind a tree. Then another couple behind some bushes by the house. He walked
up
to the door of the house, and knocked. A well dressed woman answered the door, and the man
asked what kind of a place this was. "This is a brothel,"replied the madam.
"Well, what's all this out on the lawn?"
queried the man.
"Oh, we're having a yard sale today."
This one New Yorker married himself a southern gal
and brought her to the big city for the first time. When they first arrived, he got them a hotel
room and as they were
laying in bed she looked over in the corner and saw a discarded condom, "Oh
yuck!!" she proclaimed as she pointed it to her new husband.
As he craned his neck to see what it was he looked
at her and asked, "What they don't use those things where you come from?"
"Yeah," she said "But we don't skin 'em!"
An exhibitionist named Joe, was preparing to board
a flight to Atlanta. As he approached the open door of the plane at the end of the jet
way, a very attractive flight attendant was collecting boarding passes. As she reached
toward him for his boarding pass, he opened his raincoat and exposed himself.
"I'm sorry
sir," she said politely, "but you have to show your ticket here, not your
stub."
An old man and his wife were listening to their
favorite radio evangelist, who promised, "With God's incredible powers behind me, I
can heal anything! Place one hand on the radio and the other on that which you want
healed, and IT SHALL BE HEALED!"
The old woman put one hand on the radio and the
other on her heart. The old man put one hand on the radio and the other on his pants.
The woman said,
"Uh, honey, he said he could HEAL, not BRING BACK FROM THE DEAD!"
There's a kid who lives on a farm. One day he comes
home from school in a really bad mood. Walking to the house, he sees a pig and kicks it.
Then he sees a chicken and kicks that.
When he walks in the house his mother, who was
watching him through the window, says, "I saw you kick those animals. For kicking the
pig, you'll have no bacon for a week. For kicking the chicken, you'll have no eggs for a
week."
The kid was about to say
something when his father walks through the door, also in a foul mood, and
kicks the cat. Then he says to his mother, "You want to tell him or should
I?"
A woman enrolled in nursing
school is attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day is involuntary muscles. The
instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks the woman if she knows what her
asshole does when she has an orgasm.
"Sure!!" she says, "He's at home taking care of the
kids..."
An elderly woman entered a
large furniture store and was greeted by a much younger salesman. "Is there something
in particular I can show you?" he asked.
"Yes, I want to buy a sexual sofa."
"You mean a sectional sofa," he
suggested.
"Sectional schmectional." she bitterly retorted. "All
I want is an occasional piece in the living room!"
A new mortuary in a tough
mill town decided to advertise in an unorthodox fashion, and so draped a banner on the
front of their building that read: "Our Staff will stuff your Stiff."
Not to be outdone, the Madame across the street had
her girls respond with a banner too: "Our Stuff will stiff your Staff."
An old man, Mr. Smith,
resided in a nursing home. One day he went into the nurses' office and informed Nurse
Jones that his penis died. Nurse Jones, realizing the Mr. Smith was old and forgetful decided to
play along with him. "It did? I'm sorry to hear that," she replied.
Two days later, Mr. Smith was walking down the
halls at the nursing home with his penis hanging outside his pants. Nurse Jones saw him
and said, "Mr. Smith, I thought you told me your penis died?"
"It did," he replied. "Today is the viewing!"
Michael Jackson and the
doctor are walking out of the delivery room after his wife gives birth to their son.
Michael says, "How long before we can have sex?"
The doctor says, "At least wait until he's walking."
A man and a woman started to have
sex in the middle of a dark forest. After 15 minutes of this, the man finally gets up and
says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight."
The woman
says, "So do I. You've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
A man was looking all over town to
find a friend of his. He walked down the street and came to a barber shop. He stuck his
head inside and asked, "Bob Peters here?"
The barber
replied, "Nah, we just do shaves and haircuts."
Reminiscing about their wayward
youth, a former hippie asked a onetime flower child, "Say, were you ever picked up by
the fuzz?"
"No," she replied,
"but I bet it'd hurt!"
An Eskimo's snowmobile goes on the
fritz. He takes it to a mechanic, who, after examining the vehicle, says, "I think
you've blown a seal."
To which
the Eskimo replies, "No, that's just a little ice on my mustache."
Two old ladies sitting on the porch
at the old folks home? One turned to the other and asked "Martha, you were married a
long time, did you and your husband have mutual orgasm?
The other little old lady sat and rocked for a minute
and said, "No, I think we had State Farm."
Three old ladies are sitting on a
park bench. Suddenly a man comes along, flings open his trench coat and flashes
them.
Two have a stroke... but the third
doesn't 'cause her arms aren't long enough.
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