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Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Single on Valentine's Day: On the Sidelines at the Rose Parade.

No other holiday drives home the fact that you're single so much as the annual rose parade on Valentine's Day. I'm not talking about the one in California. I'm talking about the one in your office. It usually starts before you've even had that first cup of coffee to steel your nerves, and continues throughout the day. A virtual pageant of florist delivery drivers, presenting stunning bouquet after stunning bouquet at your company's reception desk. There's just no escaping it. As the morning wears on, you get that sinking feeling in your stomach....no flowers for you today. That's okay, right? You can be deliriously single and having the time of your life on February thirteenth, but by V-day, you're hoping for a Mayday Mystery Man to resuscitate the day with a massive bouquet of twenty-four long-stems. Every time you hear the elevator bell, it's like a prickly shot of hope in the arm -- followed quickly by a fast-acting dose of reality. You smile weakly as coworker after coworker teeters down the hall with oversized vases of fragrant blooms. The other women in the office will be kind and not mention the vacant space on your desk, although they're secretly relieved not to be the girl the day forgot. On every other day of your life (with the possible exception of family weddings) your love life is private. On Valentine's Day, it can feel like you're cruising around the office wearing a giant sandwich board that reads: SINGLE! WITH NO SERIOUS PROSPECTS! Sure, you'll put on a cheerful face, but you'll be using every ounce of willpower to make the day run speedier than usual just to escape the omnipresent flora. By the time you get home, you start to think. Maybe being single on Valentine's Day isn't so bad. After all, you didn't have to drive home from work with a giant, wet, prickly bouquet in your front seat, blocking your view, and dousing your car interior with smelly stem water every time you made a left turn. There are no unattainable expectations for a great night of romance to fall flat. No thigh high stockings to yank up in the ladies room because the elastic isn't doing its job, no horrifyingly tiny (and surely itchy) gifts of tramp-red lingerie. Just you, a trip to the video store and maybe extra pepperoni on your Valentine's Day feast. A nice hot bath, a cozy pair of flannel jammies and a cuddle on the couch with your dog. If you think about it, single life is pretty rosy after all.
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